My last post got me thinking. It’s interesting that I don’t complain on here much because I feel like it makes up a solid 60% of my conversations with friends. Venting, specifically. So why not on here? I’ve thought about it a little tonight while toiling away in the office. :)
When I vent, it feels like something I can’t stop, and it’s not pretty. It’s blameful and at times catty, and seriously long-winded. I can’t bring myself to put it into writing.
A friend and I were recently gossipping about an acquaintance. I had something I was dying to tell her and started to write an email and couldn’t even finish it, it just felt so wrong. I considered the fact that if I couldn’t write it, I probably shouldn’t say it to her either. So what did I do? I called her later that day to gush about it.
I don’t think it’s realistic to say I’ll stop complaining about petty things or gossiping, but I do think I need to find more productive ways to articulate the thigns in life that are frustrating me.
And really, my little family is my refuge from that part of me. Steve’s just not interested in gossip particularly, I can only complain about the same things so many times with him. And of course he and Ryan aren’t perfect but they make me so happy. I think, aside from the obvious reasons, this is because I can be extremely honest with both of them. I don’t let things fester and then complain to someone else. If Steve says something that irritates/saddens/hurts me, I tell him and we get to the bottom of it. I don’t go talk to 3 girlfriends about the same thing to get it off my chest, it’s resolved before I feel the need to. It’s the more formal, less intimate relationships that challenge me, even when I’m on the whole content with them.
How do you find ways to channel frustration from these kinds of relationships?